Let’s face it: picking the perfect dog is a bit like finding your soulmate on a speed-dating night where everyone is adorable, but one slobbers on your shoes and another steals your sandwich. With a mind-boggling 340 breeds out there, choosing one that matches your lifestyle and personality can feel more overwhelming than assembling flat-pack furniture without instructions. And, as it turns out, this decision doesn’t just shape your mornings and muddy walks — it shapes the happiness and health of your four-legged companion, too.
Choosing a Dog: More Complicated Than It Looks
- Will your future dog be a city slicker or country squire?
- Are you dreaming of a running buddy or a professional sofa-warming assistant?
All this makes the art of canine matchmaking seriously complicated. Thankfully, The Sun recently tackled this fur-raising dilemma, leaning on the expertise (and viral TikTok fame) of a former dog trainer, known online as @pandorathedog0. In her video, which has charmed over 800,000 viewers, she doesn’t just offer friendly advice. No, she drops the mic with her list of five popular breeds she personally would never adopt. Yes, really — and dog lovers everywhere are barking back.
The Five Breeds This Trainer Wouldn’t Touch (And Why)
- Newfoundland: Don’t be fooled by their calm exterior and the Peter Pan nostalgia (who could forget Nana, the ultimate dog nanny?). The catch? These gentle giants bring a tsunami of drool. As @pandorathedog0 admits, “I love them, but I can’t handle the slobber.” Unless you’re after a canine fountain, you’ve been warned.
- Miniature Schnauzer: Petite, lively, with a “weird personality” that requires as much attention as a toddler on a sugar rush. Their trademark bushy eyebrows and beard might win points for style — until you realize, according to our trainer, that the beard is perpetually “damp and smelly.” Beauty comes at a price (and in this case, an aroma).
- Doodles: Those famously fluffy crossbreeds of poodles and other dogs. Trendy? Yes. But @pandorathedog0 pulls no punches: “They are a genetic disaster and the worst thing to ever happen to the dog industry.” Ouch. She highlights their susceptibility to issues like hip dysplasia and ear infections. Turns out, sometimes too much good fluff can be a bad thing.
- English Bulldog: Known for their epic snoring and perpetually grumpy visage, these lovable squat dogs come with what she calls a “walking veterinary bill.” Fragile is the word: their respiratory system, skin, ears, and even their eyes are all problem zones. If you’re looking to keep your vet on speed dial, this one’s for you.
- Great Dane: Majestic, imposing — even dubbed the Apollo of the canine world. So why the snub? Their lifespan. “I love them, but they don’t live very long,” admits the trainer, noting they average 8–10 years, shorter than many other breeds’ 10–13 years. Blame their giant size for their more delicate health.
Pet Parents Clap Back
Needless to say, TikTok users had feelings. Many were moved by the frank perspective of the trainer, but some came fiercely to the defense of their drooling, bearded, or snoring friends. One poodle enthusiast responded with zest: “Poodles may be the worst thing to happen to the industry, but my poodle is the best thing to ever happen to me.” Another mini schnauzer owner expressed indignation: “The slander against mini schnauzers is not acceptable. My daughter’s beard is always impeccable.” It seems, for every ‘nay’ there is a proud and passionate ‘yay’ in the dog world.
Choose With Heart — and Eyes Wide Open
So, what’s the takeaway from all this playful controversy? Picking a dog goes deeper than falling in love with puppy-dog eyes and bushy eyebrows. It’s about aligning their needs with your reality, from slobber tolerance to lifestyle fit. There’s a breed out there for everyone — and maybe a few TikTok debates waiting in the wings. Whichever companion you choose, may your paws (and shoes) stay dry — unless, of course, you’ve already fallen for a Newfoundland. In that case: stock up on towels.
Based in New York, Josh is the creative mind behind Lanco Handmade Furniture.
Passionate about timeless design and fine craftsmanship, he transforms high-quality materials into pieces that are both functional and artful.
With a keen eye for detail and a love for natural textures, Josh creates furniture meant to bring warmth, character, and lasting beauty to any space.
